On the good side of things- nothing has really changed in the past month. It, of course, has been four months since my diagnosis, two months since the start of my DMM (disease-modifying medication), and a few days since an occurrence of my toe trouble.
Since that was the focus of last month, I'll mention the fact that my neurologist didn't think it was a reaction to my DMM. He prescribed some over the counter hydro cortisone cream. So when it becomes unbearable I use that and it helps.
I just can't seem to keep my toes warm and I think that is why they are giving me trouble.
I had chill blains when I was little. I played outside too long in the snow with inadequate boots. Anyway, that was then and this is now. This toe trouble seemed a bid reminiscent.
Last month I did some snow shoveling with inadequate boots. I believe my toes got too cold and thus the toe trouble. Just starting on the DMM and not knowing what to expect I possible wrongly blamed it for my troubles. Note. I am still having trouble ruling it out. Though it does look more likely that I keep letting my feet get too cold.
When I was little it was a long time before the cold stopped effecting my toes. I remember several times that I would stay to long outside in the snow and suffer the consequences. Once I had chill blains the occurrences would increase. One has to be diligent to keep your toes warm to be free of the painful red sores.
So here we are trying to be diligent once again and failing. My toes feel cold most of the time. In one of the books I've been reading the author writes about cold feet being a symptom of MS. The book explains that when MS starts to tamper with the interconnections of your nerves responsible for the diameter of the blood vessels, the perception of cold feet can happen. It also explains that your feet are not really cold it is just your perception due to nerve damage. I don't know if I am having this symptom for sure or if I am just not being diligent enough. I'm thinking at least in part it is the latter because I am receiving damage from them being cold. If they weren't really cold they wouldn't be having trouble.
Another problem I am having is hard to admit. I am having some anger issues. I have always had some trouble with anger but, lately it's become worse. I'm really not proud of this and am praying my Lord will help me figure this out.
It's kind of like having a big 2-stroke motor with a monster power-band for a temper. If you've been around this type of dirt bike you know what happens sometimes when I get angry now. I don't think it's my DMM or even the MS per say. I think I am just angry about my situation. When I have ridiculous trouble taking care of something that needs doing and it doesn't go so easy. My 2-stroke revs up and hits that power-band. Unfortunately my sweet family gets mud thrown on them from my knobby tire. I don't like myself very much at these times.
So, that's been this past month. My other symptoms have stayed like a base line for these four months. There hasn't been any changes in them and I haven't really been able to avoid them. They just happen or not without warning. I feel good most of the time. Just slowed down.
I pray Dear Lord, help in and through all this. Help me to be loving. To come through more and more like you.