Sunday, March 13, 2011

God is near

Dark empty places restrain every solace seeking individual only now.
How did I get here? I let this illness weigh heavy on me. I wake up some mornings and let the illness win even before my feet hit the floor.
I am weak. And the sameness of these days are unrelenting. The winter has been long. The Status Quo days have been long. My trying to keep my head above water has been long. So I stop trying to do that and put my feet on The Rock. He sustains me. I draw near and He draws nearer. I try to rest in the fact that it is what it is. I am who I am. God is near.
I know this isn't even tough yet. I know this isn't even the full course of the disease. I know I am living fallen world stuff. I know God is near to them that are of a broken heart. He works on me and in  me.
I don't know how this will play out but, I know whom I trust. And even though I go through these valleys, I know who leads me. We all have valleys. Some of the most precious, the most sensitive plants only grow in these valleys.
Conventional wisdom tells us that if you suffer from depression, do something for someone else or, some say do something for yourself. I don't know which one works for you but for me the thread that runs through both of these works for me. Do something.
However, some times doing something isn't even an option. So I pray. I read God's word. I sing the old hymns or the new songs of praise. And I thank God for His grace and mercy. I thank God for the Status Quo days and His guidance through each one.

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