Tuesday, February 5, 2019

"Moving On"

Again. It's been some time since I've posted anything here at "Lifting My Spoon".
I do continue to post, blog, whatever, at other places online. None of it is very important and probably only has relevance to me. I like to write. It's cathartic.
I use to have the belief that one should never write something down that they wouldn't want read. I stopped writing things down for a very long time.
I suppose a part of me still holds to that  belief but, another part of me does not care. Besides, few probably read what I write, so it doesn't matter.
Bla bla bla blogging is what I usually term anything I write.

"Moving On."

I really haven't much to say. Life is still much the same as it has been. One can read through this blog to find out what that has been like.
Unfortunately, this passed year, I have had the loss of my Dad. Which  is still quite painful. It came on the heels of the loss of my Mom. Which is still quite painful.
Though he survived her by one year, four months, and 12 days, it still was on her heels and the loss of them both is still quite painful. I don't believe the pain will lessen anytime soon.
I am so thankful for my Lord Jesus and His "Blessed Assurance"
I hold tight to that life raft.


"Moving On."

I really haven't much to say. Life is still much the same as it has been. I am still feeling the same MS-wise.
Maybe weaker.
Maybe more depressed.
I know that I still get tired easy and I still don't rebound well. I can easily toss too many "spoons" at any given task. Tossing too many "spoons",  my brain seems to let me know I'm doing that  by leaving me in tears.
Crying like a baby.
Lovely indicator that.
I have to watch that. People don't understand. I don't understand.

"Moving On."

The household is still status quo.
We are still all together. Even though I quip that I am not "all together all together". I find myself leaning more heavily on my beloved husband and our son G.
They are my doers. My runners. I am thankful I can send them for this or for that in efforts to save my steps and my "spoons".
They are the best.
They understand.
Often Gregg quips "It's all in my head" I smile and reply "Yep, and I've got the MRIs to prove it."

"Moving On."

I am still a beekeeper. It has been getting harder every year to bee one.
I have pared back the different aspects of hive care and I no longer open the hives just to examine the bees. Only the most important activities get taken care of.  The bees are basically left to themselves and I usually just go out in the cool of the morning to observe them .
Surprisingly just observing their beehavior can tell you how they are fairing.
So far this winter, I've lost one hive but, the other one is lively. If I lose that one too I plan to bee done with bees. I simply can not care for them in the manor I have hoped for.

"Moving On."

I have pared back on a lot of things I use to care for. Simply choosing "me care" over those other things.
I don't think people realize that even thought can be a "spoon" tosser. Trying to write out a blog, letter, or trying to read something with understanding can be a challenge for me.
I have to pick and chose what the day can take from me.
I still hold to the "one thing a day" habit I have cultivated.
I would love to be able to do this and then that and then the another thing too but, it doesn't work out for me without costing too many "spoons". So "one thing" is the standing rule.
My SVX

"Moving On."

This will seem petty to some.
Sorry if it does.
It's not to me.
I have a new car. It's not "brand new" but, it is new to me.
It's remarkable.
It has been such a pleasure for the "balance challenged" me.
My balance issues not only effect my walking, they  effect any motion.
I tell, those who ask, that it's like shaking an uncooked egg in it's shell or shaking a bowl of jello. If you shake it and then set it down it will continue to wobble. My brain feels like that.
A standard car messes with me. Even if I'm just along for the ride.
The higher the car sets the more body roll a car has when cornering. The more it rolls the greater the chance I will feel it in my head.
Plus the greater the speed of the car, the more body roll it can produced. It's a bad combo for me.
The passed few years I have been driving a Subaru SVX. It is low and has little body roll. Thankfully.
I purposely stay off the highways or other roads with multiple curves. Unless I can putt along at my own pace.
Even then repetitive turns can set up an oscillation feeling. Not good.

"Moving On."

My new car is a God Send.
Truly.  A God Send!

It's a Subaru Legacy GT.
The previous owner built it for Rallies.
What does that mean?
It's lowered. 
It's tight.
It's suspension is stiff.
It's braced.
There is No body roll. It's like being on rails.
It Goes.
It Stops.
It's perfect for me.
Confidence building.
It truly compensates for my disability.
When I drive it I am no longer captive.
I would hope that even those that have never been "locked down" are able to understand what this kind of freedom means.
Driving is one thing that commands one's attention. Other thoughts need to take a back seat.

I am "Moving On."
My Freedom. My GT




This is me. Happy.



No comments:

Post a Comment